:: Tuesday, December 31, 2002 ::

"I never felt magic crazy as this..." (Nick Drake)
Socrates on virtue, Aristotle on the soul, Bethany on being in quite possibly her first functional relationship ever:
From about six years old, or possibly even before, I have been quite determined against engineers. All the engineers I knew, including my Grandpa, seemed to have an inherent boringness gene. I mean, really-- who wants to listen to long, technical descriptions of absolutely every topic known to man? At six years old, my mind was made up. Shortly thereafter, I told my parents, "I will NEVER marry an engineer." My decision was set in stone for life. Not angels nor principalities nor powers could move me.
Enter: LeTourneau University. How I ended up at a school renowned for its engineering credentials is beyond me, except that the decision was definitely God's. Since then, I have come a long way. I know how capacitors work, am learning how to solder, and am fascinated by terms like "potentiometer" and "Dr. Gonzalez."
And I'm dating an engineer.
You may wonder why I've kept this little part of my life hidden from le blog until now. Honestly, I felt that I needed to comprehend this whole relationship business before I tried to make others comprehend it. Now the time has come...
We are together despite ourselves. I'm not sure many people have fought as hard as we did against the prospect of a wonderful relationship. We became good friends, spent hours getting to know each other, realized how right "more-than-friendship" would be, and ran far away. He retreated into Denial, while I spent most of my spare time in Avoidance. This only serves to emphasize the point that God made this happen, not us.
Eventually, after a series of circumstances that neither of us had planned, we ended up in a series of DTRs that neither of us had planned. Much skepticism and prayer went into defining our relationship, and after officializing "we," the first couple of weeks were amazingly rough. A huge mental shift was required for me to respond to invitations with, "Yes, we'll be there." I have always been fiercely independent, and I guess I was more attached to singlehood than I realized. The concept of tragic loneliness was hard to part with.
The biggest change actually happened in the area of communication. In typical Bethany-fashion, I thought I would be able to swing a relationship by avoiding all conflict, avoiding all disagreement for that matter, never saying what I was really thinking, and shutting down when conversation got too personal. Apparently, some people think this is not the optimal way to communicate! The process of openness, honesty, and understanding has been a struggle. A stretch. A raging battle. Impossible (almost). Amazing. Fulfilling. Well worth the trouble.
I have read more relationship books in my time than any sane mortal should, but nothing prepared me for the elaborate mixture of intellect, emotions, fears, discoveries, ups, downs, hurts, joys, pain, and beauty. The going is tougher than imagined, and the rewards are greater than I've ever dreamed.
The Beginning.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." ~Epicurus

Labels: Yore

:: Bethany Bassett - 12:46 PM :: + ::