:: Monday, August 05, 2002 ::

"Customized relationships..." (Howie Day)

As an apology for not updating this weekend, you all get a special reproduction of a journal entry from my earlierst teen days. By way of reference, I was very bitter over a Jonathan Lindvall conference I had just attended.. You will have to excuse my rambling sentence structure and gross misuse of pronouns; I was 1) Young, 2) Distraught, and 3) Impersonating a man I didn't like.
"A Lesson Upon Courtship
As a result of my being literally holier than thou, my religion requires that I follow the worthy Amish principles of courtship. And thus I shall have to say that I am forbade to be within even toenail’s length of another girl even to my death and I must live no closer than exactly 6 hours away from any PERSON whom I should wish to court. But of course I cannot even consider that until at least 15 years of non-stop prayer and fasting to see if I may even look upon a PERSON and then we may be so richly blessed after procuring permission to court from my parentals and thine and my pastor and his wife and thou pastor and his wife and great-grand parentals and the president of the Southwestern Baptist Church of God Our Father United First Methodist Church Institution and his parentals. And then we shall be blessed with the great and holy delight and joy of the writage of spiritual and deep theological and psychological epistles to each other that we may read to each other only in the presence of the parentals of all mentioned and only while sitting at least across the room from each other, but across the house is better. And then after no less than 3 years of deeply considering our holy union, we may one day be wed at the combined age of 64 and thee twill wear a veil over your face till the day you die, and I shall take the hand of your father in mine as I may not touch thee even until mine death bed and thee and I shall be united in holy matrimony and then we shall make haste our separate ways, each to his own house and there we shall live happily ever after at least 3 hours away and have at least 26 kids in 4 years and never even consider touching each other, nor even removing thine veil over thou eyes nor even speaking to each other from a closer distance than 40 feet till the day we die till death do us part forever and ever amen."

Labels: Yore

:: Bethany Bassett - 12:43 AM :: + ::