:: Wednesday, April 27, 2005 ::

"What's my age again?" (Blink 182)

What to do with a child who likes bathtime only because she adores drinking the soapy bath water?

Labels: Christmas Newsletter

:: Bethany Bassett - 1:00 PM :: + ::

"This life is shining more forever in the sun..." (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Well, I have oh-so-much to write about, really... It's just that blogging never seems to make it very high on the priority list. Maybe it's due for a promotion. Or Death Part II. But neither yet. Today, you get a "Life After LeTourneau" article I wrote for the YellowJacket, and since most of you are no longer students there (or never were, of course), hopefully this won't be too redundant.

This past Christmas, I received a very humorous book by James Lileks.
I laughed my way through it until the line, "…Chances are you were an
English major in college. So how's that bagboy job working out?"
Then I cried.
You see, a liberal arts degree provides excellent opportunities for
one to enroll in graduate school. Forever. Outside of school,
English apparently does not exist. Companies are interested neither
in hearing how their slogans have comma splices nor in hiring me to be
their OwLet tutor. Job ads for writers tend to read like the
following: "Must be a certified expert in the field of junior high
fashion trends. Actual writing experience or ability not required."
Of course, teaching is always an option… once I go back to college and
get an education degree.
Clearly, there are only two remaining ways for me to use my degree:
sell it on eBay for a vast sum or write a smashingly successful book.
Then, once I'm a millionaire, perhaps I can pay companies to let me
OwLet their signs.
I'm glad I'm not too busy right now, though. I remember one bleary
day in seventh grade—a stage of life no one wants to relive—when I
felt ready to die at the prospect of all the education stretched out
before me. I've since started enjoying school, but the seventh-grade
me is now doing a happy dance for this break. What have I done with
myself, you ask?
Well, I spent eight months lying on the couch, rendered useless by
pregnancy side-effects like tiredness, clumsiness, and what a friend
calls "Placenta Brain." I did manage to bake cookies
twice, but I can't really claim that as an accomplishment since I
effectively forgot about them once they were in the oven… both times.
Oh happy concept—pregnancy does indeed end, and since March 3, I've
been getting to know the most adorable little girl ever born (my
husband agrees, so her cuteness is pretty much scientific fact). I
still feel like a novice at parenting, but I do know that every day is
delight to share with her, helping her discover colors and sunshine
and music and chocolate pudding (got to thank the hubby for that one).
All the best articles end with haiku summaries; let me not be one to
disappoint:

School was fun, but now it's done,
Unfortunately.
Is there life without OwLet?

Employers don't believe in
English. I wish them
Unhealth and unhappiness.

It's okay though, I'll be a
Millionaire soon, plus
Being a mom is the bomb.

Oh yes, and pictures of the precious Natalie:





I like her, I do.

Labels: Broiled Brain

:: Bethany Bassett - 9:00 PM :: + ::