:: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 ::

“The conflicts, the craziness, and the sound of pretenses falling all around…” (Alanis Morissette)

I don’t remember actually meeting a single one of them. They jump from meaningless faces to precious pieces of my world in a memory’s instant. I don’t remember them beginning to fade either. I only know that in various unsuspecting moments, I’m broadsided by the realization of how very, very much has changed.
I suppose my memories of college are most like sprinkles; they’re haphazard, they’re of wildly different hues, and I can’t quite tell if they’re good, bad, or not worth worrying about. Did I do too much, say too much, learn too much, seek too many friendships, and expect too much from them?
I will probably always remember my friends within the hallucinatory effects of I-can’t-believe-this-used-to-be-my-life. (Thinking about the past always tends to shock and enthrall me, kind of like seeing a gruesome injury does.) I love them still and pray for them and wonder… how they’re doing now, who they even are now, what might be different

if…………………………

Labels: Broiled Brain

:: Bethany Bassett - 2:39 PM :: + ::

"Make everyday worth all of the pain..." (Maroon 5)

I am horribly ashamed at how long I have gone without posting. Horribly. Will you ever forgive me?
I guess life here is busier than I thought it would be with no [real] job, no school, and no previously-established social groups. The last few weeks are somewhat of a blur now, but I do know we went to a free Something Corporate concert (oh how I love Philadelphia), picked fresh apples and the corresponding fresh hornets, and won tickets to some Blues concert. Perhaps the original $40 ticket price should have clued us in to the fact that everyone there would be wearing diamonds, sporting furs from extinct animals, and sipping martinis imported from Helsinki... Daniel and I were definitely the only attendees wearing jeans and baseball caps and begging bottled water from Management (we had quite the fun time regardless).
Oh, and in the last week, I also watched "Hellboy," burned cookies (twice), and got lost on a road I drive every few days. Also--according to my husband--when I got into his car the other night, I changed the radio station and then exclaimed in surprise, "I've been listening to this channel too!" Pregnancy hormones dissolve one's brain and feed it to the baby, apparently.
I'm finding out many other fun quirks of my condition that I was never told about. For instance, my bones are trying to kill each other; I anticipated some of them moving around but not in my FACE! (This, by the way, is something I try not to tell people. Me: "Ow ow, my face hurts!" Imaginary confidante: "Yeah, it hurts me too." You see.) Also, I never knew that lying on my back would effectively force my stomach into my throat. Neither did I anticipate being scared silly by the sight of my "bump" (as they say in jolly old England) in the mirror. And I know pregnant women are notorious for being hot--at least in temperature--but I have been in serious danger of freezing to death
However, every strangety kind of slips out of mind when I hear Baby's heart beating or feel it flutter-kicking me. During those little beautiful times that pepper each day, like spotting a clump of cheerful red leaves on an otherwise reluctant tree or waking up to a house that smells like cookies (unburnt) or talking and laughing with loved ones all rolled up in bed covers, I ache to hold our baby and see its face and hug it silly and share life with it. March feels very far away...

Labels: Christmas Newsletter

:: Bethany Bassett - 2:35 PM :: + ::